Hey hey hey hey yo. I don't blog much nor go online for long these days sia... except for facebook which seems so addictive wid all these 'how well do u know me' quizzes proliferating every inch of facebook. At the current moment... I'm sort of (and keen to be) Pastor Peggy's 'Apprentice'... or rather Pastor Peggy's Little Helper :D I learn so much from her n my cell leader Pastor Sunny n like well... they both think someday I could (and I want to!) replicate Ps. Peggy et al... ah well..
If u already know me personally,.. I scarsley think ANYONE would see me as a 'spiritual' person or anywhere along that line. And to be honest I have not been. Everytime and everyday I'll do something stupid or say something silly and end up defeated n 'lost' before God... I hardly talk about God or my faith, n I dont think I've blogged about Jesus much or even proclaim his Word to the people I talk to. Only until rather recently. Ps. Peggy said I have a 'good' mind but I've just used it in the wrong places n corrupted myself. I myself believe I've been corrupted n consistently corrupting myself for the past 28 years or so.. call it bad upbringing but I rather call it a 'lifetime of rebellion and self gratification'. Yes I take full responsibility of my vile nature and I wont compare myself to people 'holier' than me or those who are 'worse' than me. For all I know, I'm just as bad as a sinner as a rapist, murderer, theif and terrorist. *sigh*. Now I sound 'emo'... geez... I'm currently studying the following:
Victory over the Darkness, Realizing the Power of Your Identity in Christ. This is probably the first book every new believer or struggling Christian should read. I've just gone past the first few pages and this should be what I could call the 'foundation' of our faith. A good start. :D
In the Grip of Grace by Max Lucado.. this is what I read in the lunchroom during my breaks at work. Its a biiiiit far fetched... but well I guess its still a good read for nubies. Ahaha!! Ok ok I guess I'm being a bit biased here... but thats just MY opinion. I'm sure others will find this a great read... especially since its main topic is on the doctrine of Grace... which is too often mis-interpreted by even 'seasoned' Christians sometimes...
The Bondage Breaker... this one I havent read it yet but I bought it as well. Bondage Breaker is the sequel to Victory over the Darkness, but of cos it focuses on real-life issues facing Christians all over the world.. habitual sins and 'issues' too dark to be spoken about in public. Lets face it, we ALL wear masks and try to look cool n 'everything is alright' in Church... but in reality... at least in my opinion.. we ALL face many personal issues and 'embarrasing' habits and thoughts and sometimes (more often than not) are STUCK in a cycle of confess-sin-confess-sin which becomes frustrating and often causes Christians to stumble, backslide and sometimes even abandon the faith altogether.
I wonder why am I blogging stuff like this... I normally talk/blog about jokes and silly things. I guess I've been thinking a lot.. plus the discipling sessions I've had with Pastor Peggy is slowly shifting my paradigm of thought patterns and well.. I really wanna be her apprentice. And perhaps 'beyond belief'... I wanna replicate her life and in my own way help others achieve their victory in Christ someday as well.
As for now, I'm MILES away from achieving my own victory... from years of unforgiveness, bitterness, practice of the occult, and submitting myself to all sorts of bondages... bit by bit this big ball of 'knots' will ben un-knotted bit by bit by the the power of my Lord Jesus. Its a long shot but I know I can do it,.. .and someday.. SOMEDAY help others do it as well.
But it all comes with a price... several prices I guess. I... *sigh*.. I get depressed just THINKING about it... I cant be such a clown anymore these days *tho I cant help it sometimes*.. like gotta be more serious n grow in maturity I guess. Its hard... and it sucks!! I wanna play around n make ppl laugh etc etc... but can I really mesh together my personality and also be disciplined in what I discover from these books n discipling sessions? Gyaaah!! *bangs head on desk*
Suddenly I think of this song 'Even the best fall down sometimes'.
I think I just fell.. *sigh* On one hand I'm hopeful to succeed at all this.. on the other... I feel like I'm gonna DIE halfway thru... or I might sound arrogant by doing all this... or ppl gonna laugh at me or wadeva.. *sighhh*. Ah well....
Lord give me your hand... I'm at a loss of words ==
If u already know me personally,.. I scarsley think ANYONE would see me as a 'spiritual' person or anywhere along that line. And to be honest I have not been. Everytime and everyday I'll do something stupid or say something silly and end up defeated n 'lost' before God... I hardly talk about God or my faith, n I dont think I've blogged about Jesus much or even proclaim his Word to the people I talk to. Only until rather recently. Ps. Peggy said I have a 'good' mind but I've just used it in the wrong places n corrupted myself. I myself believe I've been corrupted n consistently corrupting myself for the past 28 years or so.. call it bad upbringing but I rather call it a 'lifetime of rebellion and self gratification'. Yes I take full responsibility of my vile nature and I wont compare myself to people 'holier' than me or those who are 'worse' than me. For all I know, I'm just as bad as a sinner as a rapist, murderer, theif and terrorist. *sigh*. Now I sound 'emo'... geez... I'm currently studying the following:
Victory over the Darkness, Realizing the Power of Your Identity in Christ. This is probably the first book every new believer or struggling Christian should read. I've just gone past the first few pages and this should be what I could call the 'foundation' of our faith. A good start. :D
In the Grip of Grace by Max Lucado.. this is what I read in the lunchroom during my breaks at work. Its a biiiiit far fetched... but well I guess its still a good read for nubies. Ahaha!! Ok ok I guess I'm being a bit biased here... but thats just MY opinion. I'm sure others will find this a great read... especially since its main topic is on the doctrine of Grace... which is too often mis-interpreted by even 'seasoned' Christians sometimes...
The Bondage Breaker... this one I havent read it yet but I bought it as well. Bondage Breaker is the sequel to Victory over the Darkness, but of cos it focuses on real-life issues facing Christians all over the world.. habitual sins and 'issues' too dark to be spoken about in public. Lets face it, we ALL wear masks and try to look cool n 'everything is alright' in Church... but in reality... at least in my opinion.. we ALL face many personal issues and 'embarrasing' habits and thoughts and sometimes (more often than not) are STUCK in a cycle of confess-sin-confess-sin which becomes frustrating and often causes Christians to stumble, backslide and sometimes even abandon the faith altogether.
I wonder why am I blogging stuff like this... I normally talk/blog about jokes and silly things. I guess I've been thinking a lot.. plus the discipling sessions I've had with Pastor Peggy is slowly shifting my paradigm of thought patterns and well.. I really wanna be her apprentice. And perhaps 'beyond belief'... I wanna replicate her life and in my own way help others achieve their victory in Christ someday as well.
As for now, I'm MILES away from achieving my own victory... from years of unforgiveness, bitterness, practice of the occult, and submitting myself to all sorts of bondages... bit by bit this big ball of 'knots' will ben un-knotted bit by bit by the the power of my Lord Jesus. Its a long shot but I know I can do it,.. .and someday.. SOMEDAY help others do it as well.
But it all comes with a price... several prices I guess. I... *sigh*.. I get depressed just THINKING about it... I cant be such a clown anymore these days *tho I cant help it sometimes*.. like gotta be more serious n grow in maturity I guess. Its hard... and it sucks!! I wanna play around n make ppl laugh etc etc... but can I really mesh together my personality and also be disciplined in what I discover from these books n discipling sessions? Gyaaah!! *bangs head on desk*
Suddenly I think of this song 'Even the best fall down sometimes'.
I think I just fell.. *sigh* On one hand I'm hopeful to succeed at all this.. on the other... I feel like I'm gonna DIE halfway thru... or I might sound arrogant by doing all this... or ppl gonna laugh at me or wadeva.. *sighhh*. Ah well....
Lord give me your hand... I'm at a loss of words ==